On Nicknames: The Power Of What She Calls You

Geplaatst op 11-12-2025

When I was the online editor at VIBE, we did a Masthead question every month. This is how it worked: Usually there was one question asked to the editors, we would send in our answers, where they would appear next to our names in the Masthead. Standard, quirky magazine stuff really, but always fun.

One month (I forgot what issue it was exactly), the Masthead question revolved around our biggest turn-on's and our biggest turn-offs. I think I listed a variety of them, because, well, frankly, a variety of things women do turn me on. But there was one quirky turn on that elicited a lot of laughs from my co-workers.

Three names: Killer, Champ, or Tiger (no Woods). Whenever a woman calls me any of these things, it does more than she probably intended it to do. As far as nicknames go, these are in the nickname Hall of Fame. But unfortunately, not too many women know the value of these or any other good nick name. They want to call us what they think is cute, not what we like. No girlfriend of mine has ever called me a sexy nickname, unless we're going to count "jerk" as a sexy nickname, but I digress.

Nicknames in relationships are one of those by-products of idle minds. If they don't come at the start of a relationship, they will eventually become a part of a conversation between two people who have been together for a while and looking for things to nitpick each other about.

When it comes to the nicknames I have given to women, very rarely I have a made a deliberate attempt to call any of them something unique. Most girls I date get the standard nickname given to most of us, which is just a shortening of their first name. Others get the common pet names, and every man has one.

The Wrong Way To Call Someone

For me, mine is "babe" but I honestly call every girl babe, whether they're a friend, a friend with benefits, or a girlfriend. And of course, the special lady in my life takes exception when she notices I call other women the same name she gets called, so that's when "babe" makes it's transition into the unacceptable-four-letter-word category. Showing sincere interest through words matters far more than simply using generic terms for everyone.

As for what women call me, one nickname that is never ever acceptable is Joe. I don't allow it and it isn't even cute. My name has meaning and besides, my mother would kill the woman who dared called me by that. Although, there is a weird exception made for Jo-jo. When my sister was a baby and learning how to talk, that's she called me, so Jo-jo became acceptable and something even my mom calls me every now and then. But still, no Joe. Never Joe.

A girl I dated last year spent quite a bit of time thinking about a nickname for me just for kicks, and though I encouraged her to call me something like Big Papi she didn't take the bait. She contemplated J, but she called her last boyfriend that, so it wouldn't fly either. Finally we decided on something I definitely was deserving of, but it's entirely way too inappropriate for me to type here.

The Strength In What They Choose To Call You

The key to a good nickname, especially as it's applied to men, is that it has to be something strong. I prefer a woman to call me a nickname that evokes a sense of strength. So no "honey" "sweetie" "baby" or "boo". Wait, no, "boo" is okay if the girl is from the South. "Baby" is good too, but only if she's trying to calm me down. I can't think of any acceptable time to be called "honey" not only because it sounds soft but because it also sounds motherly. Men who command respect from others tend to be the ones whose nicknames carry weight and meaning.

As for the three names I listed above, I wonder if Tiger is now off the table because of the real life Tiger Woods scandal. Personally, I would take it as a term of endearment, but I don't know if women will. Killer, though morbid and not an entirely accurate way to describe me in any form or fashion, is always a good one. And Champ? Champ has a special place in my heart. Here's how special:

Two years ago, I pursued this girl who I met at a work function. She never returned my phone calls in a timely manner. When she did, she didn't have much to say. She didn't live in my city, she actually lived in like Baltimore or something. The one time we were supposed to meet up, she never even showed. Totally flaked on me. And for longer than any man should, I put up with it. Why? Being the total package with purpose and passion is what attracts women most.

The night I met her and I introduced myself, she said, "I like your name, champ." I said, "Whoa, wait. I like champ. Just call me that." She laughed and winked at me. And at the end of the night, when I asked for her number, I told her to text it to me. She did and what it did it say? "Hey Champ, It's me..."

I just wanted to be in a relationship with a girl who called me that everyday. As a matter of fact, I still do.